Bacon, Socks and Brad Pitt
by xKuriko
Summary: Gaara wakes up with a slight hangover and the smell of bacon drifting up the stairs. Do I have to say more? Gaara/Naruto, please read and review.


**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Naruto. If I did, there'd be a nice amount of Yaoi in it...**

**Pairing(s): Gaara/Naruto**

**Warning: Yeah this is Yaoi, though there isn't really any in it... Just telling you to get it out of the way.  
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**Notes: Okay, my friend kind of gave me the idea for this oneshot, as we were talking about random plots for this pairing. And well, I wrote it, and she Beta'd it for me. I just hope you enjoy it and maybe it will make you laugh. Or just smile... I hope, I attempted a little comedy, here.**

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**Bacon, Socks and Brad Pitt

The smell of cooking bacon rose up the stairs and into the bedroom where Gaara lay sleeping. The red-head stirred, trying to ignore the delicious smell, but soon gave up and cracked open an eye. Blinking from the onslaught of light on his still sleep widened pupils, he sat up, yawning quietly as he stretched out his arms. The movement however, triggered some sort of pain awareness that up until now had been non-existent, causing Gaara to grasp his head and groan.

"My head… what happened last night," he muttered to himself, closing an eye. He let go of his head and dropped his arms to the side as he looked around, and realised that this bedroom wasn't his own. He raised an eyebrow at some clothes on the floor, roughly folded and piled up. "They're certainly not mine."

Wondering why all he could smell was bacon, Gaara got dressed into the clothes, and made his way to the bedroom door. He grumbled at the headache he had, and exited the room, stopping at the top of the stairs.

"This isn't even my house…" the red-head muttered, his hand on the stair rail. He noted that the house was a little messier and more cluttered than he remembered his own home being. Walking down the stairs, the smell of bacon grew stronger, and so Gaara followed it to the kitchen. Which, he soon wished he hadn't.

Someone was standing at the cooker, wearing only an apron and a pair of odd socks. And it was a guy. Gaara's eyes widened, and thoughts swam through his mind. He quickly and silently stepped back, hiding behind the doorway. _'Why is he practically naked?! Why's he cooking bacon? What did I do last night?!'_ He almost jumped when a loud voice erupted from the kitchen.

"Gaara! Come get your bacon before I eat it!" Gaara paused before straightening himself up and entering the kitchen, smartly avoiding looking any lower than the guy's chest. He then found himself staring, and the other guy waved his hand in front of the red-head's face. "Hello? Anyone in there?" A plate with a bacon sandwich on it was shoved into his hands. "Here." He looked up to study the other's face. Bright blond hair, stunning blue eyes, and whisker-like marks on his cheeks. Who was this guy?

Gaara simply nodded and sat at the small table next to them. He was about to begin eating his sandwich, when the blond spoke again.

"I guess you don't remember last night?" he asked. Gaara almost dropped his bacon sandwich. _'Did I sleep with him?_' He silently shook his head, and the other sighed. "I'll have to explain then, why you're in my house eating my bacon," he said, putting emphasis on the word 'my.' The blond sat down opposite Gaara, and put his elbows on the table, leaning on them. He was about to speak when Gaara cut him off.

"Why are you basically naked?" he blurted out, earning a strange look from the blond.

"I couldn't be bothered to get dressed." The blond shrugged as he spoke, as if it was just a normal thing to be walking around in just an apron. And don't forget the socks. Odd socks.

Gaara raised a non-existant eyebrow, still certain he had something to do with the blond guy not wearing any proper clothes, and turned back to his sandwich.

"Anyway, what happened last night. Well…"

_Gaara stood next to Neji, watching everyone else drink and dance. The dark-haired teen turned to him._

"_No," Gaara said simply, before Neji could get a chance to speak._

"_Oh come on, you need to loosen up!"_

"_Still no." Neji rolled his eyes._

"_Fine, I'll get you something… non-alcoholic," he said and walked off, smirking._

'_And I bet you're going to do something to it,' Gaara thought, watching the other vanish into the sea of people, and crossed his arms._

_It didn't take long for Neji to return, and when he did, his face remained as blank as usual._

"_Here. Only drink I could find with no alcohol in it," he said as Gaara took the glass. The red-head took a small sip of the liquid, and to his surprise, it actually tasted quite good._

"_What's in it?" he asked._

"_It's just fruit juice," Neji explained. Gaara sighed and took another drink. "Good?" He nodded, but rolled his eyes as Neji's eyes followed a brunette girl walking past. It was the fact that Neji was staring at the girl's large chest and not her face._

"_I'll… be back soon," Neji muttered, and wandered off after the girl._

"_Okay, now what to do," Gaara asked himself, sighing. He was now alone in a crowded room full of people he didn't know. Just what he hated. Slowly he edged away from the main part of the crowd, but it only took a couple of minutes for him to gulp down the rest of the drink and push his way into the kitchen._

_When he finally got there, though, he suddenly felt uncomfortable. Two guys were in there, one of them a dark-haired guy with a sour look on his face. The other, a pretty blond, was chatting away with a smile on his lips. Until Gaara came in. The two immediately stopped their chatter and turned to look at him. The blond was still smiling, and the dark-haired guy was glaring. Gaara was about to walk back out, feeling out of place, when the blond spoke._

"_Your glass is empty. Let me get you another," he said, taking the empty glass from Gaara and walking off somewhere. The other guy, however, continued to glare, so Gaara avoided even looking at him until the blond returned. _

"_Here! It's just plain old fruit juice, so I guess it'll be fine." He gave Gaara a glass, and the red-head attempted a very small smile._

"_Thanks…" he muttered quietly. The blond grinned._

"_What's your name?" he asked cheerily. Gaara opened his mouth to speak, but the dark-haired guy cut him off._

"_As I was saying, why aren't you drinking?" he began in a dull voice, and the blond's attention snapped back to the other guy._

"_It tastes foul! I hate the stuff!" The blond replied, so Gaara silently walked back out of the kitchen, heading for the garden._

_As he exited, he breathed in, taking in the fresh air. Though, when he exhaled, a weird feeling spread through his body. _

"_Did Neji put something in this drink?" he asked himself, raising the glass up to eye-level. He shrugged it off and walked to the edge of the pool to lie down. "If he did, he's a dead man," Gaara muttered, putting his drink down next to him after taking another gulp from it, emptying it. He sighed and almost jumped when Neji appeared above him._

"_What do you want?" he asked, looking up to the other. Neji rolled his eyes and gave Gaara another glass, full of the same fruit juice the pretty blond had given to him. _

"_Here's another drink," Neji said. His lips then twitched into a sort of smile. "I'm going to give my friend a lift home, because otherwise she would have to walk." Gaara glanced over at the 'friend,' and grumbled._

"_Whatever," he replied, and Neji raised an eyebrow._

"_Jealous? Or is that fruit juice getting to you? Who knows." With that, Neji walked off with the brunette girl attached to his right arm. Gaara sighed yet again, and let his arm fall to the side, gazing at a small row of garden bushes. Suddenly he began to think that the bushes looked rather similar to famous people._

_Gaara noticed that the one on the far left had a lot of holes in it, as though it had been shot many times. "50 Cent," he muttered, and held back a small laugh. _

_The second seemed to be very big and muscular, and the red-head smiled slightly as he imagined it talking like Arnold Schwarzenegger. _

_Next to that was a very small one, barely half the size of the 'Arnold Schwarzenegger' bush. Gaara blinked a few times, before mumbling the name "Tom Cruise…"_

_He shifted his place on the ground next to the pool, to carry on looking at the bushes. He smirked as one of them looked similar to Tina Turner, which seemed to be top-heavy. The bottom of the bush was very thin, whereas the top was very overgrown._

_Lastly, and this made Gaara almost burst out laughing. "Brad Pitt!" The bush he was looking at was, according to Gaara, very pretty. Well, as pretty as a garden bush could be. _

_Gaara jumped when someone grabbed his arm._

_"Come on, the party's over," a familiar voice said. Gaara looked up to see the pretty blond that had got him a drink earlier._

_"But I wanna talk to Brad Pitt!" Gaara protested, his drink abandoned as he stood up, trying to pull his arm out of the blond's grip._

_However, and Gaara soon realised this, he hadn't paid enough attention to the pool beside them. He toppled over, falling into the pool, and took the blond with him. There was a loud splash, the blond shouted a few curses, and Gaara flailed his arms about as though he was drowning. He could swim perfectly, but Neji had obviously put something into the fruit juice, so the red-head had lost the ability to swim. _

_"Save me!" he shouted once the blond was out of the pool, and the other grumbled before dragging Gaara out._

_"Now I'm soaking wet," he muttered, slipping off his shirt and wringing it. Gaara looked up to the blond innocently and the other rolled his eyes. "You're in no state to walk home." Gaara shrugged. The blond grabbed his arms and dragged him to a car._

_"Get wet, Naruto?" a female voice said, and Gaara looked up to see a girl with pink hair and a red outfit._

_"You can blame this drunken idiot for it," the blond answered, shoving Gaara into the car._

_"Who's that?" The girl walked up to the window Gaara was looking out of, and opened the door, making him fall forward. "What's your name?" she asked. Gaara didn't hesitate to answer. He straightened himself up._

_"Gaara." Usually he wouldn't give his name out to random people, but, well, blame the tainted fruit juice. The girl giggled and walked off, joining her group of friends. The blond guy rolled his eyes, and before Gaara knew it, they were moving._

_It took around ten minutes to get to the guy's house, but when they stopped, Gaara stayed put. _

_"Get out of the car, you're making the seats wet."_

_"No."_

_"Fine then." The blond grabbed Gaara's arms again, ignoring his shouts, dragged him into the house, and upstairs to a bedroom._

_"Stay here, I'll get you some dry clothes," he said and walked off. Gaara looked around, and stood up to get undressed. He then yawned loudly, stretching out his arms, and fell back onto the bed._

_Naruto returned to the room, and dropped the dry clothes on the floor, eyes wide._

_"He gets… undressed quickly…" He paused before pulling a blanket over the now sleeping red-head. He sighed and went into the next room, quickly getting undressed before going to bed._

By the time the blond guy had finished explaining, Gaara had eaten his sandwich.

"So you're… Naruto," he muttered, and the blond nodded.

"I sure am! But…" He scratched the back of his head. "Who's Brad Pitt?"

Gaara mentally slapped himself.

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**Maybe Gaara wasn't Gaara-ish there, but that's what I imagined him to be like in that situation, so yeah. **

**I hope you liked it and will click on the little button at the bottom that says submit review. :P**

**Seriously, it makes me write, and I might even post up another oneshot...  
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